Every time I come up with a topic to bring to my blog, I struggle when it comes to something personal. This inner battle of "is this the right content or not?" arises, and I don't know that I'll ever find that answer. But the facts are, I share personal, milestone type defining moments with my clients. This whole business is personal on some level, and at the end of the day, I strive to treat each of my clients as a friend. What kind of a friend doesn't get a little personal here and there? Justified.
I'm a photographer, yes. I primarily shoot weddings and market to the young and in love, and newly engaged. So if stunning diamonds and floral arrangements and wedding gowns are your thing, you're in the right place, but in the same breath, if you aren't a fan of cute kids, run. Ok, don't run. But be warned at the least, motherhood brought out this ridiculously sentimental side of me and I coincidentally have this perfect, little man at home that makes a pretty cute subject.
A few things you need to know about me for all of this to come together: I'm a planner to a fault, I'm a goal-setter and I run from failure. Almost two years ago I found out I was pregnant. I wanted kids, but in my to-a-fault 5-year plan, kids were like year 4-5. I was somewhat fresh in my accounting career and working hard to pass the CPA exam. I was seven short months into my photography business, and I had (and still have) dreams for this thing that actually scare me a little. But yet, here I am at this massive turning point in my life, in the middle of all of the craziness of everything else, pregnant. In that moment I was just unsure of how it would affect everything I was working hard towards. Failure and me don't go well together. I would rather cut off my left arm than feel failure, not in the sense of not knowing how to lose, this isn't a win or lose thing, but I was raised on the belief that I can be, and do, anything I want as long as I am willing to work.
Long story short, I didn't think I was ready. Not until I accomplished all the things. But, May 13th was the best day of my entire life. The only thing I wasn't ready for was the way he would change my heart, my passion for all things, my perspective, my purpose.
The past few weeks have been hard. I'm sure if you just read my Instagram posts and find yourself stumbling across some of my blog posts you may not be able to tell, but I've learned that while there are a bajillion wonderful things about being a creative, it's not always roses. I don't consider myself a competitor. For one, this is not my full time means of income, and for two, I strongly believe no two of us are the same, but man, we're our own worst critics at times, right? I've been going through a season of just being down-right, unnecessarily hard on myself, and for no good reason.
Saturday I was seriously itching to use my camera. My son was all over the place, into everything, just being a normal 10-month-old and it was seriously like the world stopped for 30 seconds... Just long enough for God to use that moment to remind me of my purpose. While my "niche" might be couples and weddings and my primary focus is there, my son and my sweet, little family are my why . He wasn't in MY plan when I started this business, but oh how he changed the plan I had for this business when he got here. He makes me want to do better, be better, and more than ever prove that you CAN do anything you set your mind to as long as you pour your heart and soul into it.
Today, he is officially 10 months old and I'm slightly in denial of that. This has been the fastest, most fulfilling 10 months of my entire life. These past 10 months have taught me that even during bad days (or seasons), life is so, so good and the blessings are overflowing. They've also taught me that time doesn't stop, even for the most precious of things. More than ever, I'm thankful for my clients that allow me to provide them with memories that make time stand still somehow. In pictures.....What an honor.
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